Yep that was me.
I remember it like yesterday.
I was hiding on my mat.
I was practicing yoga not to be with self, but to escape what was happening within and outside of myself.
I had transferred one form of escape to another.
Binging on food turned into binging on yoga.
Binging on drugs turned into binging on my journal.
Instead of going out on a Saturday night I stayed in to play with my crystals.
I set powerful intentions and got lost in my meditations.
Every full moon and new moon I would clear my diary.
“Sorry got important pre-existing plans tonight…”
What I was really doing was my ‘woo-woo’ rituals and cleansing my crystals in the moon light. I drew cards and consciously and intentionally connected to source.
Is anybody out there…?
Ommmmmm shanti ommmmm.
I’m sure I felt that tap on my shoulder?
“I finally have my sh*t together. I’m finally a spiritual person. I’m a good person. I’m a conscious person and I’m doing all the work. I’m connected to source, and I’m so awake. Life is great and I will continue to tell myself life great, until it is. What we focus on expands, right?”
“Then later I’m going to take 50 photos of me doing a yoga pose to get one good one, and then I’m going to post it on Social Media and get really creative, and I’ll write some ‘spiritual stuff’ to go with it too.”
I was also listening to audio books and writing my gratitudes every morning.
“Ive got it all figured out now”
“I’m awake and I’m enlightened”
I wasn’t openly talking about money,
because only ‘selfish’, ‘greedy’ and ‘money hungry’ people spoke about money.
Only ‘non-spiritual people’ spoke about money and had lots of it.
That wasn’t me.
That behaviour wasn’t ‘spiritual’.
And I sure had a ‘spiritual bank account’ too.
It had nothing in it.
But that was ok.
Because at least I was ‘spiritual’.
I even had clothing to prove it.
Well there wasn’t much ‘gangster’ about financial stress…
Back in the day I was also a woman who had no hesitation exploring physical connections with men.
But now that I had become ‘spiritual’ I was no longer resonating with ‘play & fun’.
I even went 9 months without having sex. But it was ok because I was ‘spiritual’ and I was having a lot of respect for my physical body.
So much “respect” that no-one could touch it. Not even myself because the invisible spirits would see, and surely they wouldn’t approve of self-pleasure.
I also stopped drinking alcohol.
Because that wasn’t so ‘spiritual’ in my books.
I had gone from the wild, fun, adventurous, unapologetic, cheeky Linda to a spiritual nun.
I had done a total 180.
I was a total straighty one eighty.
A complete saint.
A new age mother Teresa.
I was making everything ‘wrong’.
Money was ‘wrong’.
Fun & play was ‘wrong’.
Self-pleasure was ‘wrong’.
Grinding my body against a mans body was ‘wrong’.
Until one day I started to wake up more…
I started to realise that the Ego I had been trying to kill had been replaced.
I had been introduced to a new friend called SPIRITUAL EGO.
I had been living in complete denial.
I was in fact disconnected from the real world.
I was disconnected from myself.
I was operating from deep wounding and even creating more blockages for myself.
It was time to get to work.
It was time to get to the bottom of the REAL WORK.
It was time to step down from my unicorn and dive head first into my shadows.
It was time to explore and honour all dimensions of myself and learn to be a human again.
Because at some stage I seemed to have forgotten.
Once upon a time I thought I couldn’t be ‘spiritual’ and ‘awake’, and have fun, money, adventure and pleasure. I thought I had to be and act a certain way. I had gone from wearing one mask to wearing another.
I had simply been decorating my ego with a spiritual mask.
May we remember that we are all spiritual beings in a human experience regardless of our ‘spiritual masks and expressions’.
Money is spiritual.
Pleasure is spiritual.
Connecting with another skin to skin is spiritual.
Having fun and living in the moment is spiritual.
YOUR ENTIRE LIFE IS SPIRITUAL.
We do not need to seek external ‘spiritual validation’ for enoughness.
We are enough, we are worthy and we are spiritual just as we are.
The real soul transformative work begins deep inside the realms of Self. This is the deep inner work that helps you transform, evolve, ascend and thrive as the spiritual and magnificent human that you are. It helps you understand Life and Self at deeper levels so that you can truly be, do and have everything that you desire. It helps you connect and align to your true soul path and fulfil your earthly purpose.
You do NOT NEED yoga, meditation, crystals, tarot cards, white sage, Paolo Santo, Buddha statues, prayer flags to be ‘spiritual’. You do not need anything outside of yourself that fills a void or a need, and validates you being ‘spiritual’
YOU ALREADY ARE.
Never forget that.
So let’s be spiritual and also give ourselves permission to THRIVE in all areas of life. Let’s give ourselves permission to have more, earn more, do more, be more, feel more and experience more.
It all begins and ends with YOU.
You sexy, juicy spiritual being you.
I love you.
Namastay spiritual AF.
Oh, you already are.
Thank you for reading my messages from my soul. It is an honour to help you Awaken Awareness to yourSELF so that you can start thriving in Life, Business & Relationships.
~ In order to remember who you are you must first let go of who you ARE NOT ~