Yesterday I took a day off posting on social media. I intentionally spent the day being my own observer rather than the messenger.
I attended an inner child workshop / healing where I had the opportunity to dive even deeper within my own shadows. I put myself under a microscope. I looked into my childhood (as I do regularly). And every time I do I discover something new that reflects my adult life.
Was it uncomfortable? YES.
Did it feel challenging? YES.
Did I cry from my soul? YES.
Facing our inner self can feel and be one of the hardest things we’ll ever do in life.
To many of us it is so confronting that we will do anything to avoid exploring and facing self.
We can’t even sit with ourselves at the traffic lights for 20 seconds.
We reach for our phones.
We log into Facebook.
We turn on the radio.
Even a personal development audio will do the job.
We search for any external factors to distract ourselves from being with self.
Because the silence and the stillness is making us notice what’s really there.
And it isn’t pretty.
I once used to operate from that space too.
I couldn’t stand the thought of dealing with my inner conflict.
I couldn’t stand the thought of facing my inner shadows.
I couldn’t stand the thought of taking responsibility.
And I certainly couldn’t stand the thought of putting myself through that pain.
I mean, why would I?
No-one could see it from the outside so it was easier to just keep going on with life wearing my mask.
Filling a void.
Here’s the thing…
Just like eating healthy, exercising, showering and brushing our teeth –
We can choose to not do these things, ever. But many of us choose to do this daily as we know the benefit in doing so.
It helps us feel better.
It helps us be and feel clean.
It helps us have more energy and order in our lives.
Doing the deep inner work is also a choice.
Striving to be a better person is a choice.
Living a conscious life is a choice.
Contributing and serving this planet and humanity is a choice.
EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS A CHOICE.
Even our days are filled with thousands of little decisions that shape our events and experiences in our day.
Yesterday I chose to poke a sleeping bear.
It stirred my consciousness.
It stirred my shadows.
It stirred my soul.
Even my ego (self-preservation) knocked on my consciousness and asked:
“Linda why would you want to put yourself through that pain, are you crazy?! Don’t do it, it’s not safe. It will cause you so much pain”
AND SO IT DID.
(As I knew already knew it would)
I felt like crying. So I did.
I felt like shouting. So I did.
I felt like stomping. So I did.
I felt like punching a pillow. So I did.
(All of the above were part of the workshop and encouraged to move pain & trauma out of the body).
The thing is –
In this paradigm we have been taught that expressing anger is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. Anger is in fact a form of release and a way to shift energy, pain and trauma out of the body. However just like with everything else in life, there are healthy and unhealthy ways of practicing this.
Later in the day I noticed every single sabotaging thought (that always used to lead me into a sabotaging action), fill up my mind.
I also felt like consuming my whole body weight in peanut butter. I mean a peanut butter cuddle would have been just wonderful… And comforting. Like a big bear hug of love. (A temporary comfort to fill a void).
Here’s a fact –
YOUR EGO WILL DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN IT’S POWER TO KEEP YOU SAFE.
Safe from danger.
But also ‘safe’ from unfamiliarity.
‘Safe’ from stepping outside of your comfort zone.
‘Safe’ from anything that will feel painful or challenging physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and personally.
Your Ego will do anything in its power to keep you stuck. It doesn’t want you to get hurt. It loves the cosiness of your comfort zone (your auto pilot programming).
But when we grow…
GROWING PAINS ARE EXPECTED AND PART OF THE PROCESS.
Every time we have chosen to hold ourselves back from growth we have chosen to listen to our Ego. Our self-preservation program got activated and paralysed us with fear. So we didn’t take any action. We chose to stay stuck. We chose to stay in our comfort zone.
You are only ever stuck if you choose to be.
YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.
And I mean happy on all levels and dimensions. Happy in ALL areas of your life.
Yesterday I took the day to fight against my own Ego so I could yet again, grow and transform.
Today I am showing up to give you a little gentle nudge with love…
HOW LONG UNTIL YOU CHOOSE TO UNSTUCK YOURSELF?
Are you open to my nudge…?
3 guiding questions to consider:
️What is more important to me:
Changing my circumstances or staying exactly where I am now?
️What do I need to heal from the past in order to let go of heavy energy that has been holding me back, or showed up in repetitive patterns in my life?
️What fears / programming do I need to let go of in order to move forward to be, do and have everything that I desire?
I am sending you so much love ️