There I was…
Laying cold on the ground.
Swimming in my own darkness…
No tears left to cry.
Just a plea for someone to take my pain away.
A desperate call for SOMETHING to end my suffering.
4.5 YEARS AGO I WAS LIVING IN HELL.
Abused in a relationship.
Addicted to illegal substances.
Binge drug taking.
Binge ANYTHING that helped me escape my dark reality and emotions.
Caught up in a complete space of self-destruction.
“Where did I go wrong?”
“How did this happen to me?”
“Why is the universe picking on me?”
“What have I done to deserve this sh1t?”
“What did I do in a past life to deserve this karmic payback?”
Feeling like no-one understood what I was going through.
And completely hollow.
“What would people think of me if they only knew what was really going on?”
I was meant to be a healthy role model for others.
I was respected as a former Elite Athlete.
I was looked up to in the health & fitness industry.
But little did people know I was paralysed by fear.
Fear of what people would think if they found out!
My pain, guilt, shame & embarrassment consumed me daily.
So I numbed it with food.
I numbed it with drugs.
I hated who I was.
I hated who I had become.
I was living in a shadow.
I was cold & completely numb.
I was dying on the inside.
I was literally praying for death.
But death didn’t find me…
DEATH FOUND MY FATHER INSTEAD.
“Why had the whole world turned its back on me?”
“Somebody just please tell me WHY??!!!”…
I had nothing else left apart from a shallow breath, a cold heart beat and a pathetic tear.
I had no choice but to give in…
I gave in to something bigger than myself.
And in that moment I saw the light.
In that moment I connected to hope.
In that moment I gained understanding.
In that moment I felt heard & supported.
The world didn’t turn its back on me…
I HAD TURNED MY OWN BACK ON MYSELF.
A wave of total clarity took over my body.
It filled up every cell of my being.
And in that moment of stillness I was able to SEE.
I was able to HEAR.
I was able to CONNECT.
I believed in my life again.
I believed in the universe.
I believed in me.
I didn’t know how…
But I committed to change.
I DECIDED TO GIVE MYSELF A SECOND CHANCE.
And I decided that ‘One Day’ I would look back at this moment with deep sincere gratitude…
AND SO I DO.
I am now living that ‘One Day’ that I gave myself permission to live.
Without my darkness I would not have stumbled across my light.
Gorgeous, PAIN IS PART OF LIFE.
But suffering is optional.
I am living proof of a woman who outgrew her hell.
If I can…
So can you.
YOUR PAIN IS POWER.
It’s your catalyst for change.
Is it time yet gorgeous?
IT’S ALWAYS THE RIGHT TIME TO PUT AN END TO YOUR SUFFERING.
#Whatif you just gave yourself permission?
Loving you deeply.
Speaker | Writer | Healer | Coach
PS – Almost half of my #AwakenYourAwareness Event on the Gold Coast 30/9 is sold out. I am guiding 10 beautiful souls through life changing self-awareness! Will you be one of them and have your biggest breakthrough? (Check comments in my cover photo & pm for full details).
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Turn Your Pain Into Power
It all starts with YOU.