Just sent my Ex an audio marathon about how deeply grateful I am for our break up and our time together, as it helped me grow and step into the woman I am today. ❤️
Our break up in December 2016 was extremely challenging on my behalf. It felt like someone was piercing my heart with a sword.
I remember laying on the floor howling.
Not crying, howling.
This happened anywhere between 7-10 times a day, for 4-6 weeks straight.
I was laying in my deepest darkest shadows, feeling such intense pain that I do not wish upon anyone.
I could barely function.
It felt like my life was ending.
What was surfacing for me to heal was rejection and abandonment.
I was so deeply hurt that I instantly – without my conscious awareness at the time, stepped into my masculine energy.
I had developed an unconscious belief that it was not safe to surrender and to be a woman.
So there I was.
Unconsciously guarding myself.
Sending ‘stay the F away’ vibes to the entire male population.
I had already started my conscious journey of healing from that relationship, but this went deeper than that.
This was beyond ‘healing from a break up’.
This was about my soul transformation and facing the deepest darkest parts of myself.
Everything that we experience in life happens for our growth and evolution. However, we can easily get caught up in asking ‘why did this happen to me?’.
We try and gain clarity in our chaos, but nothing makes sense. So we continue to ask ‘Why?’
Asking ‘Why’ stems from victim mentality and will keep us stuck in the same space, and will prevent us from moving forward.
Instead, we can ask –
WHAT IS THERE TO LEARN/HEAL?
When my Ex and I separated I was already a woman on a conscious growth path. So I started to seek clarity and learning – but way too soon.
Here’s the catch 22…
We cannot find clarity and learning without allowing ourselves to be with and sit with our painful internal chaos.
Allow yourself to BE with your pain.
Give yourself permission to FEEL before you heal.
Even though I have already expressed my gratitude to my Ex on many occasions –
What sparked me to connect with him again was my new current reality that I was already building and dreaming of when we shared time and space together.
My vision was to be a global nomad (at least for a little while)… or a long time – who knows! I wanted to work location-free and travel the world with him. I wanted to co-create and change the world with him.
Well… He had other plans, dreams & visions…
I had developed an attachment that he was the man to meet me in my mission. Deep inside I knew that this wasn’t true, but I held onto my fantasy.
That fantasy looked and felt so good in my mind.
I kept telling myself a story that ‘one day’ our visions and desires would align…
Can you relate?
So my world came crashing down.
– is what I thought at the time.
In fact, my world got shaken to re-align with my vision and my truth.
(This is a given as our internal world creates our outer world).
My Ex gave me such a wonderful gift.
He gave me this gift of now living the exact vision I had.
I may not currently have a man standing by my side in the now, traveling with me and changing the world with me… however what I now hold in my reality has opened me up to meeting a King who aligns with my lifestyle, vision, desires and dreams.
Everything happened exactly the way it was meant to.
We cannot connect the dots forward.
Surrender to your life.
Surrender to your path.
Surrender to your vision.
And surrender to your dreams.
For as long as you keep honouring your truth the universe will give you everything that you desire.
The ‘how’ is irrelevant.
It may very well surprise you in the nicest or the most challenging ways.
Because your outer world will continue to re-align with you inner world.
Always an honour to remind you ❤️
~ The woman who took the time to BE with her pain, who healed, honoured her truth and who started to trust & surrender to the Divine Feminine.
Your Pain Is Your Greatest Power.
PS – I have space for only 1 new 1:1 client this month. If you know in your heart that you are holding onto chaos that does not serve you – and you are ready to heal, connect to your soul path and move FORWARD.. Reach out for an honest conversation x