All of my writing isn’t about how amazing life is, how happy I am, how good I feel, how much goodness is manifesting into my reality and how you can be and have all the goodness too.
My writing is what I call REAL.
My writing is RAW.
My writing is just like the human experience, full of CONTRAST.
You don’t get the Yin without the Yang.
And you don’t get the ups without the downs.
My writing can be triggering to some but I sold my soul to my purpose and made a promise to always express the deepest depths of my truth.
I made a promise to show up unapologetically without a mask, and continue to express myself in a way that will help humanity AWAKEN, TRANSFORM & THRIVE.
And here’s the thing…
We cannot thrive without understanding our own SELF and without moving through the challenging experiences (both internal and external).
In the end it really isn’t about the challenging moments or experiences in life, it is about how we move through them and what wisdom we choose to gain.
Today I woke at 5am.
I laid in bed for 10 minutes being present with myself like I do each morning.
I observed my thoughts.
I observed my emotional state.
I ran my hands over my body giving my physical vessel appreciation.
I tuned into gratitude but this morning i felt disconnected.
I stood up and opened the blinds.
I looked at the sky with an empty gaze and I realised I was experiencing sadness.
I decided to go grab my journal and go to the beach for some deeper introspection and assimilation.
At this point I had noticed the disempowering internal chatter had woken up the devil inside of me and was shooting fire balls into my consciousness.
My internal dialogue went a little bit like this:
“What’s the f*cking point?”
“No-one listens to you anyway”
“Blogs and live feeds, blah blah…”
“Your dreams are ridiculously big, too big”
“Ok even if you could turn your dreams real, are you actually ready?”
“With a bigger life comes bigger responsibility, do you really want that?”
“Do you REALLY think you can help people wake up?”
“Maybe I should just move into a treehouse and throw my phone away?”
“Now you’re just sabotaging your own success, but go on then…”.
“You want to 5x your 2017 income in 2018?? Lol”
“Not even worthy. Not deserving”
“Where’s the peanut butter? Someone pass me the peanut butter”
“How long are you going to keep doing this?”
AS LONG AS IT F*UCKING TAKES.
That’s how long.
I burst out crying in my car.
I sat with my emotions.
I sat in my inner sh*t.
I realised I was experiencing overwhelm and was knocking on the door of my ‘upper limit’.
My life has been moving forward so fast as of late that I literally started to freak out and back down.
Now this is where I would have continued to back down in the past.
This is where I would have continued to hold myself back because I was paralysed by fear. This was a pattern that showed up from last year.
I returned home, dropped my bag and laid down on the floor.
I closed my eyes and kept repeating –
“I am safe. Everything is ok, everything is just as should be. Everything always works out for me. I choose me and I choose my life. I am worthy, I am enough”.
I held space for myself.
I was compassionate with myself.
Allowed myself to move through the internal experience without judgement or self-hatred.
I connected to my breath.
I connected to love from within.
I connected to deep sincere gratitude.
. . . Thank you dear Ego, for this beautiful learning experience of what I need to address in order to move closer to my dreams.
WITH EVERY NEW LEVEL THERE IS A NEW DEVIL (stay tuned for a live feed on this topic).
***And suddenly she realised she had moved through her growth and almost finished a blog and was talking about the next live feed*** 😆
In conclusion –
Your life will continue to be full of contrast.
How are you moving through your internal earth quakes? Are you consciously moving through your shadows or playing the victim and hiding behind them? Are you backing yourself or stopping yourself in your tracks?
We are emotional beings and here’s the good news –
EMOTIONS = ENERGY IN MOTION.
No single emotion will stay in your body for long periods of time.
Dust yourself off gorgeous.
The only difference between moving forward and staying still are our choices followed by the action we take.
PS – LIFE IS STILL GOOD…
LIFE IS GREAT, IT’S EXTRAORDINARY!
(So is peanut putter).
It’s ok to throw your toys out of the pram.
But make sure you clean up your mess asap 😉
I LOVE YOU.
And I love sharing with you.
Let’s clean up our toys together.
Because… PAIN IS POWER.
PS – #ConsciousLifeCollective goes live tomorrow!!! This is a success coaching portal where you will learn the tools to keep moving forward, and where you will learn how to turn a 50’good’/50’bad’ life into a 95’extraordinary’/5’learning’ one!
Today is the last day to enter with a discounted Founding Membership! Get instant access here: